August 10, 2010
Pantless in the Dorms
(Before I start, I just wanted to let you know that I’ve been M.I.A. for a while because I was traveling again for work. I’ll be home for a few weeks though, so I’ll try not to leave you hangin’ like that again for a while. But anyway… back to business…)
Since things weren’t working out so well with Mongo and me, I quickly realized that I needed to branch out and get some new friends. At this point, I had hung out with some of the girls from my dorm and a few people that I had classes with, but I desperately needed some *real* friends in addition to the people that were just cool to go out and get wasted with. You know, good friends… like the kind of people who will let you borrow their clothes. And who have closets with stuff you actually want to borrow. In your size.
Anyway, a few weeks into my college experience, I faced the age old dilemma of women everywhere: nothing to wear in a closet full of clothes (which is obviously before I discovered Forever 21). So after some serious time spent trying on everything in my wardrobe, I finally decided that it was as good a time as any to venture out and find a new, non-Mongo-sized friend with good style. And apparently, I thought that was such a great idea that I rushed out of my room and didn’t *think* to put on pants. So there I am, thong and all, wandering down the hall in search of a small girl fashionista.
Luckily for me, I found a sweet pair of roommates from Connecticut (let’s call her CT) and Baton Rouge (BR) just a couple doors down. I’m not sure if they were really that nice or if they were simply in total shock to see a half-naked girl at their door, but they let me in. And it was like I hit the jackpot.
CT’s closet was full of adorable going out tops, party dresses, shoes, and accessories galore. And even though she was a good bit taller than me, we wore the same size. It was like heaven in there, and she was actually willing to loan out her stuff. So I borrowed something that night, and came back the next, and even the night after that. As I’m sure you can imagine, it was the perfect beginning to my wonderful friendships with both of them. And the rest… is history.
August 2, 2010
Let’s Take it from the Top
After some serious deliberation, I’ve decided that in order for this blog to *actually* make sense to anyone who doesn’t personally know me, I’m going to have to try to start from the beginning. My freshmen year, or what I can remember of it, could probably be more accurately described as the introduction to the sloppy-fest that I called college (Remember? This is when my friends and I were drinking handles of Captain Morgan before we even went out? Yeah….that… if not, check out this post.). I think my ridiculousness peaked around the summer after sophomore year though, so leading up to that point will probably the most entertaining for y’all anyway.
But first thing’s first… how’d everyone like my guest blogger? She was good, right? I definitely remember most of that night – even though I bitched out to go and have birthday sex around 4:00 AM (but can you blame me?) – and how *hilarious* she was coming home at 9:15 AM. Wow. I’d like to take some of the credit and say that we’d just gone all out for my birthday celebration, but sadly that was just a typical night out for us. Sigh… I miss those days… but anyway, I’m sure you’ll be hearing more from her once my memories catch up to the Club 7310 days, but in the meantime you’ll just have to follow her at her blog, Laura Tries Stuff…
July 28, 2010
Shame-nesia
The pressure is on! Ever since K-Ron (the owner of this blog) asked me to guest post while she’s out of town, I have been wracking my brain over what to write, and I’m totally grasping at straws!
Dredging the depths of my memory to find a coherent and hopefully amusing college “confession” has proved far more difficult than I anticipated! I’m pretty sure my apparent amnesia for those 4 wonderfully liberating years can be attributed to 2 things:
- A helluvalotta alcohol
- A helluvalotta shame
LOL! But really, I think so many of the things that I/we (we, being Club 7310) did during our time together, were so ridiculous, I must have subconsciously blocked the memories to protect my self-esteem!
Here’s a good one:
Flash back to 2006. Actually, May 13th 2006. Yup, K-Ron’s 20th birthday; obviously a big deal. We always made a big deal out of each other’s birthdays in Club 7310, cuz hell-it was the best excuse ever to get dressed up, get wasted, go downtown and be as ridiculous as ever, all, WOOOOOO IT’S MY MUTHAFUCKIN BIRTHDAY BITCHES! Yea, it went more or less like that. Not just for the birth-day, but typically the entire birth-week!
So, where else do we end up for K-Ron’s b-day but Pat O’Brien’s on Bourbon Street. And let’s just say, we had more than a few hurricanes (if you haven’t had one, get your butt to NOLA & try one. They’re delish!) Well into the wee hours, we’re still carryin’ on, not ready to go home, and someone (hell if I can remember who) has the brilliant idea to go to Ampersand. How to explain Ampersand…? Ampersand always promises to be a ridiculously crazy night; it’s this hardcore techno/house club that is always packed, and where it seems like everyone is coked out of their minds and ready to party forever. I mean, Ampersand doesn’t even open until like 3am, so you know that’s hardcore. So we go there. Man. I need to fast track this story…
I end up meeting this (local) guy, Travis, dance, make out, exchange numbers, etc. But he gets dragged out of the club by his sis, and by this time it’s gotta be like, 7am? 8am? I really have no idea, but it’s light outside. The sun is full on up! But all I know is I’m excited (in my drunken stupor) about this guy…it must have been one of my more sensible roommates that decided it was time to go home.
Now. Let’s take a look at this picture. This is me. Hi!
what a good night looks like
This picture was taken by one of the roommates who had gone home, slept, woken up, and was making breakfast the following morning. Meanwhile, I had just walked in the door. Check the clock on the wall. 9:15. Yea, AM. What’s going on in this picture? Dirty, bare feet? Nasty. Dress strap, broken. Classy. Two nightclub wristbands still on. Awesome. Water bottle. Necessary!
And apparently, all I kept talking about was my “new boyfriend”, Travis. My roommates are all, WTF? When did Laura get a boyfriend? When we left her last night, she was def single…??
I really don’t even know how to describe what Travis became over the next few weeks. Turned out, he lived in Baton Rouge, LA, about 1.5hrs north(ish?) of NOLA. So our first “date” was him coming down to NOLA, and staying with me for the weekend. Yea, I know. You’re thinking, Sluuuuuuuuut! And really, I don’t blame you. It was def wasn’t your typical dating scheme, but hey, Club 7310 had the peeper to worry about, and I was happy to have a man in my bed for protection! (More on the peeper later…)
So, the first week or so I’m thinking I might like Travis…He assigns himself a special ring-tone on my phone. James Blunt’s “You’re Beautiful”. Sweet, right? Um, NO! Worst. Idea. Ever. “You’re beautiful” is forever ruined, not only for me, but for all of Club 7310, because that motherfucker seriously called or texted me 1,000 times a day. Good Lord! More than 4 years later, that song still makes me gag…
Then, like 2 weeks into our “relationship” (NOT what I would have called it…arrangement works better for me…) He gives me his grandmother’s diamond ring. WTF?! That’s way too serious! But he refuses to take it back! Suffice it to say, I’m totally freaked out!! Not to mention, it’s now like June, and I’m going home any day now for 2 months of summertime bliss with my real romantic interest (who is now my boyfriend of more than 3 years…but I digress)
Another week or so with Travis, and I come to find out all sorts of awesome gems about him…
- 7 year old son he’s not supporting
- Dishonourable discharge from the Navy
- Estranged parents
- Failed engagement
- Lives with his sister
- $3,000 in traffic tickets
- Suspended driver’s license
- No college degree
- Works on a barge?
- There’s more, but I just can’t remember…
I’d really hooked myself a keeper, huh?? Oy vay. First of all, what kind of person divulges all of this horribly, unflattering information so early in a “relationship”? (The answer, as I soon realise, is a desperate, deranged person) But I mean, I’m trying to make up my mind whether I even give a shit about you, and you tell me all this crap? Second of all, get me the hell out of here, ASAP! That is a whole mess of drama & loser-dom that I want nothing to do with!
Thusly, Travis was never heard from (actually, never responded to) again! And the bitches at Club 7310 lived happily ever after…kinda…
Bitchy? Maybe. Ridiculous? Absolutely. Entertaining? I hope so!
July 27, 2010
I’m Going Back to… NOLA!
As I kind of mentioned in this post, I went to college in New Orleans (remember, “there is absolutely no heat on earth like NOLA in August”?). And lucky for me, my company is actually headquartered there, so I get to go back from time to time and attempt to relive my glory days. But sadly, the majority of my trips are work-related, so – as I’m sure you can imagine – it’s not *exactly* the same. I’m still really looking forward to spending a few days there, and I’m sure it will be fun, but nothing can really measure up to my college years.
I know you’re all over there sitting at your computers, reading this and thinking, yeah, yeah, so what does this mean for ME? Well I know you’ll probably be devastated and might not make it through, but my blogging time is really going to suffer the rest of this week.
But… I wouldn’t just leave y’all hanging like that… and I’ll be having a wonderful guest blogger, bahamablonde, to keep you entertained while I’m gone. I know, I know. It’s not *quite* the same, but since she was one of my fellow Club 7310 Crew, I’m sure she has a few good stories up her sleeve for you. Before that though, I’ll give you a little background on how bahamablonde and I met…
It was a few months into my freshman year, and one of the girls on my floor asked me to go to a basketball game with her and some of her friends. Ms. bahamablonde was one of them, and the other was actually my other ex-roommate pictured in this post. Anyway, basketball wasn’t exactly a *big* sport at my school, and the gym was practically empty. You could, however, actually drink at the games, so I never understood why more people didn’t go. But that’s beside the point. So we were just hanging out, chatting, and enjoying (?) the game, but then we collectively decided that wasn’t good enough. We couldn’t just cheer on our team. I mean, come on… anyone can do that. So, since it was so quiet in there, we thought it would be a *great* idea to actively heckle the other players instead. And we did. For the entire season. It’s not like we were just telling these guys that they sucked or staying on the topic of basketball at all. It was more like, “You suck, you ugly, big-nosed piece of shit! Your mom probably even hates looking at you!” Yeah. I told you. We were that awesome. As the games went on, we actually even became a little notorious for it and had a few other people join in with us. Come on… you know it’s cool.
And that, my wonderful readers, is how the ridiculously bitchy shit-talkers began our wonderful friendship. See… I knew you’d like her. Hope you enjoy her guest post(s)!
July 23, 2010
Grown Up Blow Up Pool
So apparently, exploiting my fellow Club 7310 Crew once today wasn’t enough, and I can’t resist the urge to do it again. So I’m going to. Right… now.
Yeah... we were THAT awesome...
Luckily my ex-roomies are looking pretty hot in their bikinis, so hopefully they won’t be too mad about me posting this pic. But whatever. It is what it is.
Anyway, I guess now would be as good a time as any to explain exactly who/what the Club 7310 Crew is. Basically, we were the most *awesome* (ridiculous may be a more fitting word here, but whatever… we were awesomely ridiculous) roommates ever, in the best college party house of all time. Our house number was 7310, and since we were that cool, we decided to that our house wasn’t a house. It was a club. Hence, Club 7310.
The original housemates were me, my two lovely roommates pictured above, and well… Taylor. (I don’t really know how to do justice explaining him in a few sentences, so I won’t. I’ll just let y’all make your own opinions as my blog goes on.) After a year, we kicked Taylor out and got a new roommate, and that was really the *official* crew. Unfortunately, some of us have had falling outs over the years, and as I look back at our time together in that house, I don’t really know why. I mean, I do know why, as in the specific instances that added up to friendship-ruining drama, but I don’t understand why, or how, people that were once so close have to grow apart sometimes. I honestly don’t regret anything that happened between the four of us or anything that I did during the self-destruction of our foursome, but I am sorry that I let our differences be so detrimental to my friendship with one of them (pictured on the left) and that some of my other roommates don’t really speak anymore either. For now, some of us have had to go our separate ways in order to grow up and better ourselves as people, but I truly hope that someday the Club 7310 Crew will all be able to sit down together and have it be like old times. But only time will tell.
But yeah. So… I got a little sidetracked there, but like I said about Taylor… I’m sure you’ll get filled in on all these details over time, and you’ll just have to keep reading. But anyway, you’re probably wondering, what the hell are those girls doing in that picture? Is that a blow up pool?! And the simple answer is yes. It was the blow up pool for grown ups (it was about four feet deep), and it really *seemed* like a good idea at the time. But that lasted about a week. The picture above is when we were all excited, blowing up the pool for the first time. We were so stoked (did I really just say stoked?) that we were actually going to be able to lay out in the water that we didn’t realize how much work it was going to be. Can you believe you actually have to balance and add chemicals to that thing? Every day? Plus then you have to do the maintenance on a regular pool, like cleaning out the leaves/debris/etc. W.T.F. I thought it was going to be one of those “just add water” things, and it would be cool.
But sadly not. Our “pool” lasted for about two weeks, and then ended up turning into our own private swamp and we had to throw it out. So. Nasty. But yeah. Probably not one of our *best* ideas of all time… but whatever. It was fun while it lasted.
Confessions Of A College Graduate 